Dieting Disaster, Dairy Decision and D-Day

So I had some bad news this week, a real blow, and it really threw me.  To my surprise I didn’t initially leap off the wagon, but a few days later without warning I did, with full force and, even for me, uncharacteristic vigour.  Who would have thought a stomach could hold so much junk?

But I’ve dragged myself back out of that hole again now and feel, curiously, finally, really motivated.  I’m going to do it this time.

While I was in that hole I contemplated the Dairy Dilemma and I came to the conclusion no dairy.  Last night I made my first non-dairy ‘butter’ – although I had no intention of even trying to replicate butter, because frankly who could?  Butter is from the gods and no hand of man could conjure it.  What I wanted was a fat that I could use in the ways I had butter, namely to fry in, to spread on and to melt over.  I don’t bake (just as well!) so I wanted something a touch savoury.  I could say a touch ‘umami’ but as all it means is savoury, I think that would be a touch pretentious.  Anyway, it’s turned out pretty good, and when it’s spectacular, I’ll post the recipe on here in case any dairy-freenies want to try it.

I am, incidentally, loving the no-breakfast-9-hour-food-window (or ‘time-restricted eating’) regime.  I tried breakfast one day for comparison and I hated it, feeling that I was constantly stuffing stuff into my mouth.  My body had liked the rest no-breakfast gave it.  So that’s staying.

So – I’m going alkaline, dairy-free and time-restricted and today is D-Day.

Wish me luck, chaps!

The Alkaline Diet Day 1 – So far, so smoothie

So I spent yesterday gathering together all the information I’d need to set myself up for the Alkaline Diet, and remembered – although I haven’t done it before, but I have read it before – that a big problem with it is the lack of consensus over which foods are alkali and which are acid.  For instance, mushrooms are rated by some ‘highly acidic’ and by others ‘mildly alkaline’.  I eat alot of mushrooms, so being human and so self-interested I’ve decided to label them ‘neutral’ so I can keep on eating lots of them.

Elle Macpherson’s passionate advocacy for the Alkaline Diet is what inspired me to try it, and yet even her writings on it are contradictory – she blogs (on Get The Gloss) that the nutritionist who put her onto the Alkaline Diet (Dr Simone Laubscher) tells her enthusiastically to eat walnuts.  Walnuts are acidic.  She says she always has organic butter and eggs in her fridge – but both are highly acidic.  She eats fish every day.  Acidic.  Of course, you’re only supposed to eat 80% acidic, but it does make it all rather confusing.

Incidentally, I’m not doing it because I adore Elle’s body – for the record, I prefer my women to have more womanly proportions.  I’m never quite clear why an example of perfect womanhood has a man’s shoulders, no hips and strangely elongated limbs.  Of course, Elle is perfectly entitled to, and should, love the body she’s in – but I do resent her example being held up to other women for us to aspire and compare ourselves to, always unfavourably.  We don’t look like that because that isn’t actually what women are supposed to look like.  And if that sounds a bit mean to Elle, well I wouldn’t say it about somebody who hadn’t chosen to put their body out there to be admired;  and hadn’t chosen to be fabulously well paid to work in an industry that is all about making women feel crap about being normal.

So the Alkaline Diet is clearly going to be a largely vegetarian diet but I’m good with that.  I’ve always preferred plant foods, which does make me wonder how I managed to Low Carb for a decade or so.  Mind you, I did say I always found it difficult.

I’ve always had a passion for vegetables, and one of the things I love about French food is that they take vegetables seriously and create culinary wonders with them, rather than just seeing them as a slightly damp chore on the side of your plate.  As the wonderful and much-missed Phil McCarthy once memorably said,

in Britain we boil our ‘veg’ to death, and then give it another 20 minutes to be on the safe side.

Curious that the British call it the very unglamorous ‘veg’, as if it was something dull and faintly unpleasant,  like cutting your toenails.  Mind you, I have to admit to feeling a certain disdain for the current use of the word ‘veggies’ – as if vegetables couldn’t be called vegetables anymore but had to be rebranded, to make them attractive to the gullible public who might then actually think they aren’t vegetables at all, but something new and cheerily appealing.  They don’t need rebranding, they just need cooking properly!

And what, with the rising cost of food and particularly meat, I’m not sure who will be able to afford to eat meat soon, but I won’t be among them. Could be we may all have to make much better friends with vegetables soon.

Anyway, from the many conflicting Acid/Alkali charts, I’ve compiled one that makes sense to me;  I’ve had a Tesco shop delivered this morning busting at the seams with nut butters, kale and almond milk;  and I am SO BORED WITH BEING FAT that I guess I’m good to go.

Wish me luck!


So sometimes the Gabapentin + Pregabalin – the medication I’m on for my TMD & Trigeminal Neuralgia (and what a lovely couple they make!) – knocks me sideways.  I’ve been very proactive in reducing and adjusting my medications – with my GP’s consent – to the minimum, to maximise my ability to function, even where that means I live with a level of discomfort;  but sometimes, all the same, the meds just come whooshing in from the side and take me with them.

Yesterday was such a day;  and amongst other things on those days, my body shuts my brain out of the loop and becomes a hound in pursuit of sweet things, I suspect because my poor body is looking for a stimulant to drag me above the muddy waters of medication-induced-confusion.

Happily the day was saved by a batch of Nutprococo I’d made earlier in the freezer;  and I’m soooo glad I did, because today I don’t have a food hangover and I dare step on the scales.


Wagons, cliffs, crevices & whips

So I could list any number of reasons why, but the fact remains that yesterday I fell off the diet wagon, tumbled down a cliff and plunged into a deep crevice.  This morning finds me pulling myself back up and out, feeling snowflake-fragile and with a sickening food hangover.  I know that self-loathing is lurking in the shadows just out of sight, and that the instant I turn my back it will pounce and whip me bloody.

Today’s page in my inspirational flipboard (see my post You must be your own best diet buddy) is

‘Stop all and any behaviours that hurt you’

which today I will remind myself means not only refraining from eating and drinking things that will make me feel rubbish, but also refraining from whipping myself bloody with self-loathing.