Because heavy, like this, I just don’t feel like me. This is not who I was, this is not who I am.
I miss being able to move completely freely. I miss the sensation of my arms being able to hang freely at my sides when I walk, rather than grazing the increasing girth of my hips.
I don’t want to have to have my knees replaced – and apparently, in an increasingly cash-poor NHS, you can no longer guarantee that you will be able to get them replaced. You may just have to live with the pain and medication.
I miss the 90% of my wardrobe I can no longer wear.
I miss being able to nonchalantly and gracefully cross my legs.
I miss feeling at peace with myself.
I don’t want to develop Type 2 Diabetes because I know from watching my Mum die that it is a horrible, protracted and merciless death.
I want my kids to be really proud to say ‘This is my Mum”.
I want to live the however many years I still have left in good health and pain free.
I miss looking fabulous.